Thoughts about alcohol Teil des Episodenwerkes: A Drinker's Diary

  - Einleitung
  - Kapitel 1: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 2: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 3: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 4: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 5: Thoughts with and about alcohol
  - Kapitel 6: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 7: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 8: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 9: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 10: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 11: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 12: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 13: Deterioration
  - Kapitel 14: Gedanken mit John an meiner Seite.


I wake up at nine in the morning, disturbed in my sleep by my cell phone. Strongly annoyed I grab it and answer. It’s Martin. “Jo, Hannes and I are going to come by for a couple games of cards.” That’s great, really great, but sure: “why not, give me 20 minutes for a shower and some coffee, or something like that,” I answer.
As I get in the shower I realize that my head is empty. Not a single thought passes through my mind, more or less uncontrolled actions is all my existence is based on right now. I’ve never been empty-headed when I was younger. I might have been hung over for a couple hours, I might have been totally up and going, but never empty-headed. Not being able to be sarcastic, cynical or nice for hours or the whole day after is a fairly new problem. I, who in his arrogance is usually proud of his intellect, feel like a vegetable.
And now I ask myself why I drank last night. What was the point of another game of Russian Roulette, what the result of the hammer, hitting an empty shell. All I know is that my mind, the only thing I can be really proud of and which keeps me alive, is poisoned for maybe hours or the rest of the day.