Thoughts with and about alcohol Teil des Episodenwerkes: A Drinker's Diary

  - Einleitung
  - Kapitel 1: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 2: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 3: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 4: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 5: Thoughts with and about alcohol
  - Kapitel 6: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 7: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 8: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 9: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 10: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 11: Thoughts about alcohol
  - Kapitel 12: Thoughts with alcohol
  - Kapitel 13: Deterioration
  - Kapitel 14: Gedanken mit John an meiner Seite.


I am afraid. Just now I’ve been thinking about the plot of tomorrow's entry in this diary and I considered telling you about my Christmas holidays.
I recollected that I went with a couple friends on a group-ticket with the train via Erfurt, where sadly I had to wait in the cold, with a couple new fellows I‘d met, for two hours. Not soon after starting to talk to them, I had opened a Polish Vodka bottle and one of the mates a bottle of Jack. It was a fun trip thereafter, talking with them about the classes we had chosen, about the girls in our city and about the beer prices, of course.
What I did on the next day I don’t remember, the same as nine other days of my seventeen day break.
On another night I went to the cinema with Marie and her parents: watched the movie Albert Schweitzer and had a drink as soon as I was home to complete the night.
Even on Christmas Eve I got drunk: With my brothers and then, remembering, alone with my worst enemy.
I have to play Russian roulette to feel well, because many a time, when I’m reaching for the kick, I receive just depression. The night before New Years was such a night: a completely successful evening; and when my friends left, after a couple hours of drink, music and conversation, I deemed to give it the special kick.
I do not want to lose my memory. I do not desire to find only joy with alcohol. Yet I have given my hand to the friend once and for all, have sold him my future for a special kick in a special moment, and have burned my dreams for nights on the rim of a toilet seat.
I have two classes tomorrow, am eager to finish writing, you might even say a bit excited about it, and need to sleep now, so I’ll have a Gin and Tonic and do just that.